Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
too bad you live with your parents still
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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