I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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