i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My balls are so social today.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
