You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
