Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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