I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
