can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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