Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
