Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i drank out of a bidet.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
