sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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