the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
