I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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