just come out here and I will go home with you...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
