It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
