Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
