On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
