everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I have post one night stand depression
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Two words: nipple clamps
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