me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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