My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
