i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You're like the curious george of whores
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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