i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
