Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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