I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
