Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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