if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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