Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
