Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
