whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm just crazy horny about you
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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