We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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