pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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