Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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