Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
