I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
