I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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