it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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