just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
