im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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