I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
