what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
