similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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