We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
