This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
