We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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