Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
