my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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