I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
