i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
