Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
