You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
