i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
